So as of January I will be the new Artistic Director of Hearts & Minds.

Writing those words is extremely surreal.

​I am at once excited and utterly daunted by the task. A familiar feeling as an artist and theatre maker, and more or less how I feel at the beginning of each new creative project I take on.

And the huge joy of this particular project is that I get to serve the wonderful clowns of Hearts & Minds.  My artistic family. A big responsibility. A big joy. A big challenge. I will do it with my whole heart.  

I am so excited for the future of Hearts & Minds. Bring it on!

What a pleasure to make a piece especially for the Galoshans Festival this year, and to have the chance to make work at the Beacon Arts Centre again. What an inspiring workshop space!

I so hope we get to perform this again. It was such a pleasure to work with Lucy and Diane - they are hilarious, committed and creative performers, and made the devising process of this piece a pure pleasure. The design work of Fergus was once again an incentive to raise our game, and make sure we delivered something that lived up to his vision. He wrote a lovely blog about the piece which you can read here. He is way more eloquent about it than I could be! Melanie Jordan was a great outside eye, and brought out our characters and gave us confidence to take up space and be slow. 

​Here are some snaps... 

During our 2 week residency at Mavisbank School, a young theatre company came in to perform their panto. I was intrigued. They seemed like a company that go around all schools, so I wondered how they might have adapted their performance to suit this audience...

All of the children were wheeled into the school hall - some in chairs, some in bed. They all have profound and multiple learning disabilities, none have verbal communication and they are dependent on others for all of their primary care needs. The show began. 'Hello boys and girls!' 'You can do better than that, boys and girls! Say it louder, boys and girls!' and then,  'Clap your hands, boys and girls! Come on! That's it! Clap your hands!' My. Heart. Sank. I saw nothing but terror in the eyes of the performers. Most of the children were taken out of the hall before the end of the performance. The directors were sitting at the back of the hall checking e-bay for Christmas Elf costumes. 

!!%$&*&^%^&**!!!

I don't blame the theatre company - these were talented young performers, with no training or expertese in working with this audience, and they'd been booked for a gig and they need to pay their rent. As far as the school is concerned, they are keen for their young people to have access to The Arts but what is available at the moment for schools for children with complex needs in Scotland is seriously lacking, and in my mind, most of it is a total waste of time and money for children, schools, and theatre companies  alike.

Our aim with the Empty Pockets project was to do something about this, and use our combined knowledge to make something completely different, genuinely enjoyable and worthwhile for the young people it was made for. Our 2 week residency enabled us to consider every detail and possibility of the theatre piece in collaboration with the children, who taught us everything, and staff who gave us amazing and insightful feedback. Textures of props, colours, sound and volume, recorded voice or live voice, proximity and distance, interactive and passive experience, language, characterisation, level of conflict, vocalisation, silence, breath and space. All of these things were directly informed by testing and workshopping with children in their classrooms. 

Where one theatre company might need the audience to be brought into a school hall, we wanted to develop a piece of quality theatre for the classroom to give the children a better chance of being relaxed and able to enjoy and participate in the experience. We wanted to make the ordinary extraordinary, and leave their everyday space bristling with a sense of magic and play.

Equally central to the project was to respect children's abilities (no 'clap your hands' to a room full of children who can't voluntarily move their hands) and empower them by making a performance that was truly affected by, and gave ample space for each individual’s reactions. We wanted to take risks and place our audience at the centre of the performance. Most of all, we wanted to engage with every child’s right to have an effect on the world, including on the world of play and make-believe. 

I am so proud of the outcome, and feel passionately that this piece of theatre should have a long life touring schools in Scotland. Hopefully there will be some photos and maybe even a little film soon. It isn't something that can really be effectively described here.

After our first sharing, we overheard one class teacher explaining the project to somebody in the corridor, 

'This company has come in and shown us that our children can enjoy theatre'

Well. you can't ask for much more than that.

Luckiest of Me's, I get to work on the development of a piece of theatre for children with profound, multiple learning disabilities (pmld), with a wonderful and inspiring group of people - Ben Winger, Diane Thornton, Lucy McGreal, Kerry Cleland, Anna Newell and John Keilty.  Thanks to Creative Scotland for the funding.

We spent 2 weekends meeting each other and sharing our collective experience of work in this area as well as finding themes, images, story ideas, music and props. It was so exciting to be in a room with skilled artists who are all passionate about what they do and about theatre and art being accessible to all. 

The next phase of the development will take place at Mavisbank School where we will be for a 2 week residency, testing out ideas and making discoveries...watch this space!

When I arrived back in the UK, it seemed absurd that after all these observations abroad, I hadn't observed Hearts & Minds clowns at work since I started with the company in 2010.

So last week I went to Glasgow Sick Kids to see Dr Wallop and Dr Beatz weave their magic!

It was a really wonderful experience, seeing two people I know so well, in a hospital I know so well after a month of total newness. I had so many lovely chats with staff about how they'd like to see more of the Clowndoctors and the good work they do.

It was great to get an outside perspective. I can see how a few changes to the way we interact and do things could have a really positive effect on the way we are integrated on the wards. 

And of course I am biased, but Wallop and Beatz were totally fantastic! They seamlessly engaged with children of different ages and cognitive abilities at once, including everyone AND being funny at the same time. 

​I'll finally be on the floor again myself on Thursday, and I CAN'T WAIT!

I obviously couldn't take photos of any of the children in hospital - but rest assured, out of shot of these photos are giggling children, parents and staff!

So I have been thinking a lot about artistic support for hospital clowns, what this might look like, how we avoid 'burn-out' and keep ourselves creatively tip-top after years on the floor. But i think it is fair to say, that without personal professional responsability and rigour, no amount of training or artistic support will save us.

As Xaví said, "we as individuals, have to bring it from home. Pallapupas is not a Clown School".

Monthly training, or coaching or residential courses are all very well and good, but if we feel like we know it all already, or if we feel bored or uninspired, then maybe that is all (hard raised) money down the drain. It is up to US to find the inspiration and spark each day we work on the floor, to explore new possibilities and frontiers in the work we do, to encourage, surprise and push one another. And from there, training or coaching or residential courses can be the icing on a delicious and nutritious cake.

Xaví, one of the most skilled Hospital Clowns I have seen on my travels, writes notes at the end of each day he works. He has worked with Pallaupuas for 11 years, and was Artistic Director for 4 years. Grounds, you might say, to pat yourself on the back and cruise your way through the hospital clown day. But you don't get to be that good without the kind professional rigour that he talks about. 

If you don't already write and reflect on your own practice after each day working on the hospital floor, start.