A rhyme for oranges

I’ve spent my whole clown life reassuring people that I’m not that kind of clown, that I’m not frightening, that no, of course I don't wear make-up, but today I felt more authentic and free than I have in a long time, dancing between innocence and experience, feeling like a beginner again, but on solid ground.

In hospital as Dr Maybee, the depth and breadth of my expression is of course limited by the space, environment, people we connect with. I practice breathing life and authenticity into the space that is available, but lately i’ve been longing for a vehicle to express the deeper, less acceptable, less polished, less child-friendly parts of me. Being in the street, clowning for adults, knowing that they will either be repelled by me or attracted to me depending on their own inner landscape and desires is so liberating.

This performance in Riga is an exploration of an image that has been nestled in my imagination for maybe 15 years; a clown on her own, walking with purpose through the city holding a bag of oranges. Inevitably, the bag splits, the bright, beautiful oranges spill and she can’t continue without help. This image has gently tapped at the walls of my consciousness, and unlike some other ideas that I have scared away,  I’ve always managed to greet this one with kindness - ‘not yet, love, not yet’. Somehow it has always felt too tender, too slight, too innocent for the real world, and better nurtured in my own solitary imagination...

But when it transpired that we couldn’t clown in hospital in Riga it surged into my minds-eye, and now Igor was there too...not one clown, but two. I left him a rambling voice note - ‘so there is this idea that I’ve had for a long time…bla bla bla….oranges…street…bla bla...it's okay if it's not the right time for you...’ and he replied, like the perfect co-conspirator that he is, ‘I was going to suggest we clown in the street too - let’s do it!’.

Neither of us have any idea what this will be, other than the two of us, a bag of oranges, and the street, but we both have that feeling that we’ve jumped into a beautiful, fast flowing river - delighted, exhilarated and fortunate beyond measure to feel so inspired and so in-step.